My first time…

in London, that is. I went! It was amazing. I spent an entire week walking everywhere, riding the tube, listening to every language and accent I can think of, holding my honey’s hand. It only rained on us once and it was cold for me. When I left home it was 80 degrees out and when I arrived it was 48. Fantastic.

So what now? I come back home and it was the first time I’ve ever not had a tough time getting back into the swing of things. Why is that? Because it all felt like a dream and I simply woke up? I’m thinking that’s it… but wait. I have pictures to prove it. I have emails back home. I have ticket stubs… yeah I was that girl this time.

So I’ll ask it again. What now? I’ve been back for a few weeks now. I don’t feel like doing anything with my friends even thought it’s the Holidays. I just want to be home, alone. Should I be worried? I’m still not studying although I know that is the one thing I must do in order to get my ass over there. Where do I even begin? There, study! But I don’t want to! Why am I still making myself do this?!?!?

Because it’s the easiest path at this time. The time and energy it would take to find out what I really want to do… it’s just easier to take the test and finish this path. So how do I get myself to study? Uhhhh… any suggestions? Anyone?

I will say that being over there was a little scary. Scary in a good way. Scary like new experiences and a world full of the unknown. I didn’t feel it when I went to Ireland. I imagine that’s because I was in the protective cocoon of a tour group. This time it was just me and my honey. As soon as I flew back into the states I could feel the protection, the security. And I wanted to go back. It was like being raised inside your whole life and finally being able to go outside.

I wanna go outside and play some more.

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