Late bloomer …or right on time?
I say that I’m a late bloomer, but am I? I seem to have always caught onto things later than others. Boyfriends, dating, drinking. Even with my career, I just have to warm up to things and then it’s like, Shit why haven’t I been doing this all along?!? But I never learn I guess…or maybe it’s just the way I’m supposed to be. The way I am. I look around and see that I have a good life. I’ve got a good mom, sexy boyfriend, I’ve traveled, I have an education, a cute dog, good friends and am sort of doing what I love…in the right field anyways. I go through these times when I doubt everything in my life and feel completely lost thinking to myself I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere. I over analyze, but never over plan and then one day after I decided to just say screw it and live with it, things seem to be falling into place.
It’s like my job, I think. You start out with an idea and you figure out how people are going to use it. You talk to the other people you work with to get their specialized input and then you get after it. You design it and start to detail it and then you feel like you’re doing 20 different things at once and you know that they all have to be done, but it’s hard to see the big picture and if they’re all coming together and then…. they each just start dropping into their individual place and it does actually come together. And it comes up on you suddenly, like you’re freaking out and overwhelmed and then you turn around and it’s pretty much done. All you have to do it seal it and print. I think that life is like that too in that we have our mind set on something at the beginning and things come along and change your perspective or the user wants something completely different or your boss has his mind made up about how it’s suppose to be and we adapt. We adapt and then in a few months, if you embraced the idea, you feel proud of it and see that it did in fact develop into something beautiful and unique and it’s a collaboration. The client’s happy, your boss is happy and you’re happy. Unless you’re one of those miserable people who didn’t adapt and you’re still pissed off and think it looks like crap just because it wasn’t your idea.
Did I get off topic? I think not… It occurred to me today that maybe I’m doing all of these things when I’m suppose to be doing them and it all comes together like it’s suppose to. I look at people who jump into things head first and some of them seem to be bored now and even though I haven’t done half of the things they have, I have those things to look forward to. I took a few years off from my better judgement recently and made some of those head first moves and while I don’t regret them, they just weren’t me. So I’ve decided that it’s OK if I’m a late bloomer by other people’s standards because I think I might just be right on time.